A 49-year-old American who lives in London has spoken out about the state of the capital's Tube network, despite the fact she travels almost everywhere by chauffeur-driven limo.
Madonna Ciccone, aka Mrs Guy Richie, is well-known for adopting photogenic African children who aren't orphans and for bringing the leotard back into fashion for middle-aged women such as herself.
Despite her embarrassing attempts to become a lady while in England, she still appears to not know to close her legs.
She launched a furious attack on the incumbent mayor of London, who is up for re-election this May.
"Will Ken Livingstone get my vote? No. The traffic in London is worse
than ever now. All Red Ken wants is roadworks going on everywhere.
"Don't use the Tube; can't use the roads? No. I'll just have to walk I guess," she told Q magazine.
Well, at least in London a menopausal woman in a pink leotard can walk the streets without anyone caring! Or having her sectioned.
The Mayor's campaign has, of course, been thrown into complete disarray after this intervention from one of the world's most talented actresses.
Her mastery of the English accent has brought many to tears and London voters are unhappy that the leotard queen cannot herself stand.
After all, her policies would be universally popular - who could disagree that this one would be vital to London's continued reputation as in international finance centre:
"I would make it so that young musicians, aspiring musicians wouldn't have to pay the congestion charge or pay taxes.
"They would be exempt from those kind of things so they would have more money to do other things."
Sensible policies for a happier Britain - and how about a special roadwork-free lane for limos while we are at it?
London residents have been beside themselves over rumours that Madonna may be on the brink of leaving her husband and the city and returning to New York.
What will we do without her constant bitching about everything from British builders to the British weather?
Recent Comments